Riding the Waves

War is not the answer

I have a lot I need to write and let out but it won’t be for a bit.  All I know is that a friend of mine lost his life last week over in Afghanistan for this war. He is a hero and he died for his country. He will be missed and it’s been really hard. I don’t know what to say, think, or do.  But I thought we were going to get our troops home and not killed, war is not the answer.  How can I trust these politicians to take care of the little guys, maybe they should go over there and be in this fight personally, maybe they will change their minds on this war. There are too many people dying because of what exactly???  

You are greatly missed Chris and you are forever a hero.  Thank you for fighting for me to have my freedom, because I know that freedom isn’t free.  I just wish you didn’t have to pay that price.  

Said goodbye to the best friend anyone could ask for today. 16 great years with the worlds best dog. She will really be missed

She is in a better place now

I just can’t do it any more….breaking someones heart sucks.

A girl and her mac book

I’m not sure where this post is going to go so this is something you might want to skip….it’s just me and my keyboard letting my mind go.  If you think this post is about you, it’s not.  If you’ve already read the warning and still think the post is about you, you are wrong but go ahead and confront me on it anyways. 

We all have endings in our life, often more endings then we think about.  Every day is an ending when you lay your head on your pillow and shut your eyes to go to sleep.  Some endings we can obviously see, like that paper that is due in two days, or the meeting you have to give a huge presentation in.  Other endings are not so definite.  

There are those endings that know are going to come but have no reference of time.  For example (not to be morbid) but our lives.  Having not one but two parents with diseases that could possibly take them out of my life quicker than normal makes you think of things like that. We are not here for an infinite amount of time.  It’s the quality of the time that we spend here that matters.  Who knows when our end is to come, some have the warning signs and others do not.  

Then there are the endings that you can see or feel emotionally coming but do your best to stop it, to change the out come of this ending.  It is like watching a car crash and running in front of the car to stop it with all your power.  Sometimes you win and the car stops but other times, and usually most, you’re run over by the car right into the crash.   These endings are the worse and the most emotionally draining.  I feel as this is the hardest for me to wrap my mind around.  Do I let things just go to crash and burn or do I try to be the hero and step in to try to stop the crash??

I feel as though I will always try to stop the crash, even if I know I will get run over.  It’s the feeling that you have knowing the end is near and how to handle that hit.  I don’t know how to do that in most situations which is something I need to work on.  I see an defined end to things but want it to change.  I know in my gut I am going to get run over and the crash is going to happen.  So why do I still step in??  Why will I let myself get run over again and again trying to stop an ending that will happen outside of my power??

Maybe it’s the hardest thing for all of us, accepting the things in life that are going to happen, no matter what we do.  The facts are people die, things come to an end, people come and go in our lives, but life moves on.  But when there is an end,  eventually that leads to a beginning.  After you close your eyes at night, the moment you open your eyes and let the sun in, you’re at the beginning…

So we can live life two ways in my view point.  As the end is always coming or there is a new beginning on it’s way.  I’m a fan of the second, so tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning. 

humph….

I feel like there are a billion blogs and writing stuck inside of my head, but I just can’t get it out.  There is so much to say but can’t get it out…..grrr